I love running. Many people think I am insane and ask with a bewildered look on their face “why do you run?”. If you have to ask you don’t get it. Essentially, however, I run to keep my demons at bay. These demons take all sorts of shapes and forms. Now before you call the men in white coats let me describe these demons.
The first demon I run from is called anxiety. This demon haunts me. It effects everything I do to some degree. I am naturally a control freak in an uncontrollable world. Running fights this demon from taking over my mind. Running gives me mental clarity and keeps me out of the fog of worry.
I run from the demon of a hospital gown. I work on a cardiac unit, I stand behind the care we give, but I don’t want to be a patient. I am running from diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and overall bad health. I want to live a long and full life, and running helps me do that.
I run from the demon of passivity. Running is the opposite of being passive. Running requires me to make a conscious decision to move. It requires me to push through pain. It requires that I get off my lazy butt and do something.
I run from the demon of physical limitations. I love hiking. I love backpacking. I love to move. Without running to prepare me, I am physically restricted. I hate the feeling of watching others more athletic than me climb mountains and do things I can’t. I hate the look of joy on others faces while they get to live life to the fullest, and I am too out of breath to continue.
Now that I have explained to you WHY I run, I want to educate you on some runner’s pet peeves.
1. A marathon is 26.2 miles. A Half-marathon is 13.1 miles. A 10K is 6.2 miles and a 5K is 3.1 miles. When you sign up for a 5K fun run and say “Oh yeah I ran a marathon this weekend”, it makes us mad and it makes you look stupid. When you say “I ran a marathon that was 6.2 miles”, it shows your ignorance and we laugh at you.
2. We hate it when you say “Run, Forest! Run!”. It isn't funny. Shut it.
3. People who can't/won’t control their dogs. Keep them close. If they snarl, step away from the sidewalk. I don’t want dogs coming into my path as I run by. Just cause you love your dog doesn't mean i do too.
4. Dog poo. What is wrong with you dog owners? Clean up after your pet. No runner wants to dodge dog poo and having to clean it off our shoes makes us livid.
5. If a race says no dogs, don’t bring your dog to the race. If a race says yes to dogs, and has a special start area, use the start area. Why do you think that the rules don’t apply to you just cause your dog “is really sweet and loves people”? Follow the rules.
6. People who ask me how my last 5k marathon was. See #1.
7. When you are running a race, and people yell “you are almost there”! Your idea of almost there is not mine. Shut-it. It isn't helpful.
8. When you tell someone you run, and they immediately say “oh running is so bad for you.” Running is better for you then that candy bar you just ate. You just wish you could run too.
9. When you are walking, please be aware of faster people coming up behind you and kindly move.
10. People at races who line up near the front, then jam things up in the first quarter-mile of the course by walking or running very slowly. Worse: Slow runners who line up near the front, then saunter along with one or more companions, side-by-side, three across. Usually chatting loudly about something stupid.
Can’t run? Walk. A 14 minute mile and 7 minute mile is still a mile. No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone sitting on the couch. Do me a favor, and don't regale me with all the reasons why you don't run or walk.
Running is a mental sport, and we are all insane…
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